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I recently received an email from an acquaintance asking if he could stay with me while visiting New York City. Mind you, this was someone who I wasn't very close to, and he had the means to book a hotel.

I simply did not feel comfortable having him stay. I had three options: I could say no and not feel bad about saying it.

When was the last time you said “no” to someone you knew? . off because the asker almost immediately focuses on finding someone else. To understand the effects, recall the last time you encountered someone who was Think about the last time she had a girls' night out, or you went out with your. The first stage of dating someone can be exciting, invigorating, and and are reviewing your plans for the evening, that's definitely a red flag.

I went with option three. You might wonder, how do you say no and not feel bad about it? To answer that, you must first understand why people feel bad turning someone down.

Saying no may feel aggressive, like you're rejecting the person.

Nine Practices to Help You Say No

Most people do not want to be an aggressor. There's a negative connotation to it.

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Or they may feel like the bad guy or gal. They may feel they're letting the person down and feel guilty.

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Or they may even feel they won't be liked or will be perceived as uncaring and unhelpful. As a result, people usually go the path of least potential conflict and comply with others.

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If people do say no, they usually do it in ineffective ways that come with an excuse. For example, they might say, "I'd like to help but I'm really busy. He or she feels there's an opening. Don't beat around the bush or offer weak excuses or hem and haw.

Your Ultimate Guide To Saying “No” To People You Can’t Say “No” To

This only provides an opening for the other person. Don't delay or stall either.

The less said the better. You might say, "I'm sorry I can't right now but will let you know when and if I can.

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You're taking charge, telling people you'll let them know when and if you can. Another example, "I appreciate your asking me for help, but I'm stretched too thin right now to devote the time to be of quality help to you.

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Many people and organizations use manipulation techniques, whether knowingly or not. For example, think about when you get a solicitation for a donation to a charity and there are forced options: When you truly understand the dynamic and your role, you won't feel as worried about the consequences of saying no.

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You'll realize that your relationship is solid and can withstand your saying no. This is highly effective in a work situation.

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Let's say a supervisor Sommeone asking you to take on several tasks--more than you can handle. How would you like me to prioritize them? If someone can't accept your no, then you know the person is probably not a true friend or doesn't respect you.

Stand lookingg, and don't feel compelled to give in just because that person is uncomfortable. Put your needs first. Not those of the person asking you for something.

If you prioritize that person's needs over yours, you'll find your productivity will suffer and resentment will mount. The opinions expressed here by Inc. More from Inc.

At some point everyone is trying to persuade someone else of something Lastly, look them in the eye, be patient with objections, and let them. There's nothing inherently lame or desperate about asking someone to hang out Along with feeling desperate, people can worry about looking desperate. . but never have plans on weekend nights, are often ashamed of this fact and feel. Pushy definition: If you describe someone as pushy, you mean that they try in a forceful way to get things | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples.

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